YOUNG MEN AND YOUNG GIRL

"Guest Bu," Bibi polite bow, directing capital to the front of the fingers.

"Who?" tanyaku while newspapers fold, remove the glass eye.

"Nothing Bu, have never been to come."

I nod. Rise with a full mind, I am not sure that guests bisnisku friend, because this Sunday. Not the brothers, because they usually call first to ensure I have at home. Or relatives may be far older friend who does not know the customs kebiasaanku? It can be.

Once opened the door kudapati a young man and young girl in the middle terrace kidding. Man was burnt brown with the sun, dressed somewhat disheveled. The little girl with more light, berbaju new materials with low quality. When the girl turned to me, immediately kutangkap rays on his face that membuatku terkesiap a while. Sinar face is not foreign to me. Although the form of a nose and two eyes that the guests - who membuatku can immediately conclude that they are father and son - but kutemui rays in the face of the child.

Young men turn to the door, to arahku. At once he stood, a little nod and mengucap good afternoon. I replied with a slight wobble head. Only slightly. Laughter of the small little girl was running. Kupersilakan both in, still with a little heart flutter. Who they? Disheveled man with a sharp eye beam. Clearly not here to ask for donations.

After we sat down, he began to introduce himself.

"I Jaya, Tante. Neyla And this," he said while laying hands on the shoulders of the young girl.

Neyla. Name a name so similar to the first child gadisku, neyna.

"Sorry, the holidays Tante," he said. With a steady voice intonation and clear eyes that tatap very self confident.

I am sure he is not careless people. The way he speaks and eyes that tatap, not owned by any person. Untung I treat it well, batinku. Kutatap him more clingy, trying to fathom what is actually more in men in the front. He is quite handsome. Misery may make it less terawat and look older than actual age.

"I have titipan from neyna."

Neyna. He mentions the name! Instantaneous muscle-strain ototku.

"Sorry can deliver now," he added. "It is too late, but now we really got to this city."

He remove the protective carrying case of the heel and a flat pack with diulurkannya. Kuterima packing and kubuka one side. Photo of us. I, my husband, Andrew, and neyna. Images created when our two children are still small. Perhaps neyna new contemporary girl in the front. So neyna who have taken this picture from the living room, batinku.

"Neyna does not apologize and ask permission to take what I have put it here."

"Why is not he himself who put it on us?" friendliness of the new start to appear immediately sirna. Sikapku changed stiff and cold.

Neyna on retention, the child was perempuanku reopen past wounds. Still clearly recall how children in the kukandung, kulahirkan and kubesarkan that tega-slapping nampar wajahku. I do not know, what has merasukinya. Neyna so sweet and refreshing day-to-day we sekeluarga, little by little began to change as incoming college first. Initially, only participate in activities Affairs only. Then he spends more time with friends in the student organization. Then I start menegurnya. We had a debate before finally reached an agreement that I will not melarangnya berkegiatan for he is able to maintain the achievements akademiknya.

Old-old he began to lazy to go home. Home only made the drift, where the requesting goods store sometimes. Komunikasinya with decreased dramatically. I used to work as a friend to chat turns to the cashier who only found at the time of need money. Once he returned to jarangnya sometimes I am surprised when terkaget-met. Children gadisku a beautiful, clean, fragrant and suddenly kutemui have been so lazy treat themselves. He came to face with the pointed, eyes tired, and the sweaty clothes. Even the next meeting kutemui not hitamnya longer hair, which was dense and beautiful with the bangs that make dollish Barbee. Hair that has been trimmed short because she was too ribet mengurusnya.

I began to have a reason for anger and melarangnya berkegiatan, but he disputed the. Even overt claim sikapnya terhadapku. I criticize the authoritarian he said, the leadership of the household and corporate sekehendakku, without the proposal and would like to hear the voice ketertindasan others. Who will not be burned? Know what he was about domestic life? Moreover, about the company. Sadarkah not perusahaanlah that he can make a living like now?

"The company that crossroads of our lives. You do not need to meddle in the task because it means the destruction of corporate destruction of our lives," said slow but sharp.

"Yes, that company that makes us prosperous and wealthy. But remember Ma, it is not the work of Mama. The labor that is the back bone. And all this time with Mama in the name of the company had rack of them without a commensurate reward," screaming neyna rough.

I am excited. "If we do not like the way kerjaku, do not eat from kerjaku results. Go, seek your own meals or stay here and lock up!"

Beyond a doubt, absolutely beyond a doubt, neyna receive tantanganku. He chose out of the house. Leaving a life of no lack of this and replace it with the wild life. Life is not necessarily all. Sleep anywhere and eat anyone's. Somehow what exactly, I can not imagine.

I never intend menyusulnya because no tega, but before the intention that he would lead the kesampian demo requires employee welfare improvement. So not only failed keinginanku menjemputnya, but also dissolved maafku for it. Since then, I did not want children to think about it again. He kuanggap are missing or dead. He is not my son anymore! Apparently kepergiannya time while carrying an image that is now at hand is.

"Why did not he return the own this photo?" tanyaku with residual anger past.

"He can not," answered Jaya.

"Why?" tanyaku. "Scared to meet with?"

"Not," Jaya shake weak. Flicker briefly. "He can not find anyone anymore," he added slowly while holding the breath.

"Health?" tanyaku still with conceit.

Jaya shake. Menatapku him without speaking, "neyna is .... Go. Half a year ago." And men in hadapanku water that is the eyes that float.

I menghempaskan themselves. Accidentally. Indeed I am so hurt by ulahnya and meniatkan no longer considered as putriku, but news of these rip perasaanku. Neyna, daughter cantikku it went forever ...

'Sorry, I can not guard, "the man has been able to control perasaannya. Sikapnya back quietly. "Everything goes so fast. One day I suddenly encountered neyna vomiting blood. At that time also I take him to hospital. Some days there, doctors recommend that it be brought home. Tigerish Cancer parunya-in tuberculosis has been spreading to the organ - other organs and medical teams have been unable to do anything, "he pause, draw breath. "One I, during this never pay up."

We still know each other at some length. Each dissolved with memories and ashes.

"You're her husband?" tanyaku then with a soft tone.
Menatapku He hesitated a moment before the bow. "Sorry, I do not ask permission first Tante."

"So this child neyna," said gentle, almost in itself. "If allowed, I get the mengasuhnya," I said suddenly.

Jaya smiled. "Thanks Tante, he is my breath. So I may not part with it. Although I may not give the luxury of him."

I tertampar enough with the answer. Kutahan but did not give any reaction on the answers.

Not long after the men have surrendered. Kuantar up to the fence. While kubuka door, had kutanya, in which they live.

"We are on the slopes of Mt Geni. I work with people who lost their lives threatened, because the national park development plans," answered Jaya.

Then they passed. Before angkot tumpangi they actually pass away, still had time to flourish saw tiny children's hands with Jaya kubalas with a flourish as well.

I still stand on the fence even though the two have disappeared together with tamuku angkot that they bring. Suddenly I remember, while my husband home again. And he may not know what happened. So soon kututup over a fence and entering. Wash face then return to sit in front of tivi, while open-page Sunday newspaper. ***

WORK : Susialine Adelia

TEACHER

I aspire to become teachers. Of course me and my wife so shok. We both know, what kind of a future teacher. Therefore, before too long, our quick ngajak he ngomong.

"We hear, incidentally, you want to be teachers, Taksu? Yes!"
Taksu nod.

"Yes Sir."
We surprised.

"Gila, you would like to cook so g-u-r-u?"
"Yes."

My wife and I-view perspective. That catastrophe. We do not believe what we hear. Moreover, when we peer tatap, calm eyes visible Taksu not guilty. He certainly is not what Searched diucapkannya. Clearly he does not know the problem.

We look worried, because Taksu not fear that we do not agree. My wife's in-breathe in as disappointed, and so it went. I started to speak frankly.

"Taksu, heard good things. Bapak only speak one time only. Then it's up to you! Being a teacher is not a goal. That banner in the way of slums in the village. We live in the city. And this is the era of the third millennium colored by globalization , alias-free competition. At the present this does not have people who want to become teachers. dilnya All teachers are forced to become a teacher because, as they failed to reach the other. They are so original teachers are not idle. ngerti? Every time if there is an opportunity, they will jump ngambil a more beneficial. ngapain a teacher, would like to stand dead? You are not a person who has failed, so why you so desperate? "

"But I want to be teachers."
"Why do I have another job? You know, life is a teacher like? Guru is only an old bicycle. Be offered as iron does not have any trash that want to buy. Kejepit his life. Seabrek-abrek task, but the big money is zero. see where the teachers have rose Jaguar. house just average contract in the alley slums. In the village is also the teacher of his life not from teaching but from the farm. Because of the teaching profession is wasted, as the Boro-Boro goal, a road course costs less. goal is to be high, Taksu. Cook so teachers? That aspiration of trivial, mocking the name of the parents. Masak you not know? What have teachers who have a multilevel home. There is no teacher who has a dollar deposits. Teachers are not have a future. bleak world. We sleep, he still only utak especial prepare lesson materials or check the PR. How crass you want go to hell, but you are still young, you weak brain, and the cost to the school we have to prepare. Try to think the brain with the quiet cold! "

"It is I think deeply."
I'm surprised.

"Think again! Mr. kasi one month!"
Taksu shake.
"Dikasih within one year is the same result, Pak. I want to be teachers."

"No! You thought only one month before again!"
Taksu leave us with a hot heart. My wife grumble along the way. Made a month-monthly, I am. According to him, sayalah that is one of the students, so Taksu so short-sighted pikirannya.

"You who pamper him, therefore he seenak stomach just now. Cook would be the teacher. That's just suicide!"
I'm still alone. My wife is really strange. What is not disukainya, deems all my handiwork. Husband's fate is so average. Outside can exceed fierce tiger, dealing with his wife, destroyed.

Not only a month, but two months later, we both came to visit again Taksu in place kosnya. Once this does not appear with our hands empty. My wife takes penchant krupuk fish skin Taksu. I brought a new lap top the most powerful, as a surprise.

Taksu ecstatic. But our very own back beaten. When we ask how the results perenungannya a two-month, Taksu give the same answers.

"I have is I want to be a teacher, I asked again, Sir," he said at all without feeling guilty.
Now I am angry. My wife do not dikata again. Jump tight face. He can not restrain angry again. Taksu disemprotnya exhausted.

"Taksu! You definitely want to be a teacher because you are affected by praise on those teachers that do?" scolding wife. "Mentang-mentang they say, heroic teachers, teachers are kind to the nation and homeland. Ahh! That's all untrue! That government language! Do you think the teacher is correct that is causing people so pinter? Do you not read in the newspaper, many teachers -teachers who are now useless and depraved? Ah? "

Taksu not replied.
"The State deliberately praise teachers see the sky but their own, the state did not give that kind of salary, because they believe, many people like you, are satisfied as praised. They know the weakness of people like you, Taksu. Praised only a few have been want to rock the bones, work order does not matter is not paid. Taksu You deceived! Puji-made to compliment the people a weak heart like you, still want to be teachers. the children of their own race officials that post-race get out of sky-school, that can later inherit his father! Cook just so you do not nyahok? "

Taksu still not replied.
"You is not the type of people who just love to be recommended? You use what you own praises, which is something that is concrete. The concrete is money, Taksu. Do not be afraid allegedly materialistic. Meterialistik Who says it ugly. That is the word they do not have the money. Because not able to find money they curse-down money. Where possible, you can live without money? Yang bener only. We need to live materials. Teachers are working on the anti-material, make what you spend your life for something that is not useful? understand? "

Taksu nod.
"Understand. But what would one be a teacher?"
My wife eyed not believe what didengarnya. Finally he spurt.

"Lap-top take home its first course, Pak. Biar Taksu think again! Love him three days time, so that more can decide something in depth. Remember, this is a matter of life matimu own, Taksu!"

I actually want to come talk, but my wife I went interesting. I could not gainsay. In the way of my wife's breath.

"It is time to make shock therapy on Taksu, before it was too in kejeblos. He really needs attention. Therefore, he tries to do something that causes us forced memperhatikannya. Basic child of the age now, ingenuity! He desire not the lap top but the car! Mr. drudge beliin her car, so that what would follow our advice! "

I do not agree, I have another opinion. But what means the denial of a husband. If my wife or sister brother, or father-mother, who oppugn, may be diturutinya. But if from me, please do not. What I have proposed dicurigainya profit interests have my family. His wife is always the husband, from perasaannya own.

Three days we did not visit Taksu. But it also does not Taksu call us. I'm so anxious. In fact children do not miss their parents, parents who have always considered children.

Finally, without a known by my wife, I come again. Once I came with the car keys. I pull my deposits in a bank and take a car loan. Taksu may want to have a luxury car, but I only buy cheap strong. But sejelek-kan jeleknya car, with the promise of a bonus, if he would like to change the cloth-citanya, Isn'T luxury car, everything I will submit, wait.

"How Taksu," I said while showing the car keys. "This gift to you. But you must also give gifts for Father."

Taksu see the key to the cold.
"Gifts do, Sir?"

I smiled.
"Three minutes, Mr. taste long enough to make you decide. So short words only, so what you want actually?"

I looked Taksu.
"So the teachers. Kan says I have many times?"

Lock the car that is already in my hands again rebut.
"Cars are not an appropriate use of teachers. The key is you can take right now, if you promise that you will not want to be teachers, because the parents embarrass you. You this investment for our future, Taksu, understand? You sekolahkan us that ye may reach a degree, have positions, respected people, so we also honored. To be useful to you and the people have money to treat your parents, if we have our old later. Bercita-yang bener citalah. Mbok want to be president so! Cook teachers ! Gila! If you become a teacher, married after the worst you'll be back at home stick to your parents and suckle so exhausted all the inheritance ludes. That name stunted mind. No, I do not want my son terpuruk like that! "

Then I put the key back in the front nose. Taksu think. Then I yell gegap joy in the heart, because he was allowed to lock it again.

"Thank you, Sir. Mr. I have been considering. Sesungguh With-sungguhnya, I respect Mr. attention on."
While saying that, I Taksu interesting hand, and on the palm ditaruhnya me back the car keys.

"I want to become teachers. Sorry."
If it does not refrain, certainly at that time also Taksu I tampar. Kebandelannya was very provoking. Receiving plane is damaged. Fortunately I was good faith. I press my feelings. Key contacts that I hold to enter the bag and pants.

"Fine. If the case, tuition money and you start to eat next month we stop. You live alone. You can order your own direct experience how life is suffering. Not as easy as you read in the theory and slogan. Hopefully the pain will guide you to the right road. Three days will come again, Mr.. pikiranmu time to be sure that will change! Bangkit indeed occur after the new had destroyed! But never mind. "

No doubt many more, I go. I really get mad. I think Taksu certainly have dicocok nose by someone. No one can do that, except Mina, girlfriend. Children of teachers that I have been teaching less upon my child that terkiblat pikirannya to become teachers. Damn!

Exactly three months later I came again. Once I take this key luxury car. But first I ask the same question.
"Try it for the last time, so what would you really?"

"How a teacher."
I can not afford to continue. Boxing I fly to the table. Glass on the table jump. Coffee is in front of me to squirt.

"But why? Why? What information we do not make enough to open eyes and mind that you already dicekoki by female teacher child beggar is? What you want to be teachers, Taksu ?!!!"

"Because I want to be teachers."
"No! You can not be teachers!"

"I want to be teachers."
"I kill you, if you still want to keep it so the teachers."

Taksu I stare.
"What?"

"If you still want to be just teachers, I kill you now!" I agonized kalap.
Taksu reply I looked sharp.

"Father will not be able to kill me."
"No? Why not?"

"The teachers can not be killed. Jasadnya may be rotten ago disappeared. Diajarkannya But what is still left behind eternal. Even grow, develop and provide inspiration to future generations to come yanag. Teachers can not die, Sir."

I'm dumbfounded.
"O ... so that drugs that cause you would already be a teacher?"

"Yes! That's why I want to be teachers, because I did not want to die."
I bengong. I have not been answered emphatically by my child. I'm so nervous.

"Rotter!" words escape me. "Who are you pollute your mind with the motto keblinger? Who are you mengindoktrinasi, Taksu?"

Taksu looked sharp to me.
"Who Taksu?!"

Taksu point.
"Mr. yourself, eh?"
I'm surprised.

"That is not it 28 years ago! Now have another Taksu! You do not ngacau! You can not live with the advice that Mr. gave 30 years ago! Then you lazy. You do not like school, you only want to play, you even recalcitrant and less on teaching the teachers that you come to school ride motorcycles. You do not even realize sepatunya butut face faded and less nutrition, but it is the people who will save your life. That is the knowledge that the warehouse you need to paste until you are ready. Before you are ready, you should respect them, with respect for them, new knowledge that can be attached. Without knowledge you have will not be able to compete in this global era. Tofu? "

One day I Taksu study. I telanjangi all persepsinya about life. With no red-faced again, drag the name of my girlfriend who mentang the Mina-mentang the beautiful, want to drag my child to a dark future.

"No true love is blind!" I kalap rage. "If a love is blind what's the bikini," I go cite the ads I papas often on the road. "If you become blind, that's the name of love but not toxic. You have terkecoh, Taksu. Pacarmu Although the family is a teacher, does not mean you have to mengidolakan your profession as a teacher. Why? Thus you should save it with a family of teachers do not need to be a teacher , because they do not need to live smithereens turbulence proud to be a teacher. What does it mean if the pride of living in the more appreciate the fact tie, car, money, and dignity? Got money, dignity and property is not a sin, why should be seen as a sin . For all that is only a tool to be able to live more civilized. menyembahnya We are not, never have told you that the teachings of worship material. We only use the material is to increase our life more humane. What people can not be happy? What if suffering as a teacher, new man will be civilized? kaprah That's wrong! Change the Taksu you, now! This! "

My car key gebrakkan BMW in front of the eyes with a very angry.
"This is a billion more!"
Before he had time to answer or take, I take the keys back while ready-ready want to go.

"Pulang now and apologize to your mother, because you just insult us! Leave her. Later, if you are successful you will be 7 times more beautiful women from the Mina with a very easy! There is no need to switch you nalar!"

Without waiting for answers, then I go home. I tell my wife on what I already do. I guess I will be able to praise. But apparently my wife bengong. He did not trust what I describe. And when kesadarannya down again, his eyes bug out and I dibentak completely.

"Mr. too! Do not treat children like that!" screaming wife kalap.
I'm confused.

"Come back! Let the car keys at the Taksu! If the children want ngasih car, you just do not use all the requirements, the trade name! Cook same child trade. Basic mercenary!"

I confused.
"Ayo cepet, later fading child you!"

I still want to rebut. But hear the words blurred, my heart fall. Taksu was the only child. Eleven years we waiting with anxious. Our treatment here-there, to rehearse and perform artificial enseminasi finally had time to twice the program tube baby. All failed. Time we pasrah not give up but, eventually my wife and the birth Taksu. Children who are very expensive, how can I let him be vague?

"Come quick!" sitri I agonized kalap.
With panic Taksu see me again. But too late already. Children already know that as just, that his mother would pack me back. Kost's house was empty. He was going to bring all the goods-goods, who live only a small secarik paper and a small message:

"Sorry, I relakan I became a teacher."
My trembling hands holding the paper disobek from the book daily. Paper that the value may only seperak that, far from the key means that the BMW price semilyar and clear my deposits. I sit in the room, the smell the smell Taksu that is still lagging. I thought perplexed. What is destiny's child and the parents of conflicts? How I did not want to re-fly vituperate Mina who already misguide Taksu. I call back-four teachers who have dikultusindividukan work as a noble, when in reality, many teachers are useless.

Room door suddenly opens. I like dipagut electricity. But when it turned, it is not Taksu but my wife is due to overtake worry. Time he knows what happened, he was direct and angry and crying. Finally, I again became a target. For the first time, I struggle. If not, my wife will make me so bal-balan. I answered all the alleged wife. He was surprised because for the first time I rebut. Finally, in the former rooms of our children, our quarrel hard.

But that 10 years ago.
Now I am already old. Time has a way to process everything so, so that everything beyond a doubt. Now replace Taksu already bear the burden of my life my family. He became one of the major import of luxury goods and export goods and crafts to fresh fish of various regions overseas.

"He was a teacher for about 10,000 people servants. Teachers also for young people who become a sister generasinya. Even teachers for the nation and state, because the services-services transmit work ethics," said promoter when Taksu get doctorate Honoris Causa from a prestigious high-joking. ***

WORK : Putu Wijaya

DREAM BEFORE YOU DEAD

Ramadhani, even at death's door, I still remember with ucapanku at a time. At the time of the other, many times I will say more later went first from you. "Dead young," even said. And you always lock the mouth with just a kiss my lips. Cut off-I said the word menurutmu inappropriate. Just at a time, before we have to be separated for the rocket to dihembuskan of the earth, you got a slap cheek when kiriku again I repeat the sentence of death is. No more smell like. I think you may have can not be patient menghadapiku. Or are you too scared? In fact I have so often talk about the leaves with my name in the tree branches. That he, said, while the yellow and then go to hasten dry autumn. He is very short, will not compete until the age of us in there.

But then we meet again in a place that we call life. But the situation is very different. We still contemporary, but it can not be said that as an adult. We still talk just is not tidy. Here to there, typical language children. All very different to what we had lalui together in a time past. Before we both tertiupkan to this nature.

NAFASKU terpatah-broken. I feel very tired. As a woman renta waiting period of close age. Run only in a notional indeed both feet never move any where. But I was not old. Although also-ran can not run away. I only continue to lie and lie. Since my father journey to heaven. Eyes still accommodate the many buliran not get a clear turn for the spill. I terlanjur asleep. And now, I dream.

My father stood in the shade so soft but it seemed strange to me. I tried to call, but voice stopped at the dry tenggorokanku. Long once I do not drink the water through the mouth. Infus the lapse of only a hand hold kananku penetrate so far. My father is dead, as if kehadiranku not see here. Perhaps nostalgic pounding in my chest that did not upset enough to be hard to sign keinginanku met with?

I saw the picture again when my father and my mother meninggalkanku. "My father must be abroad," said a mother at night.

"For what?" tanyaku.
"To work," my father respond. "My father's promise will not go long. You can mark the day with continued mencoreti each calendar desk calendar on my father. Every day. And without you realize, my father would have been back here."

I do not believe installing the face, "My father's promise?"
My father bow steady. Tingkahku see my mother smile. And I mengantarkannya to the airport with a heavy heart.

Next, I am busy with my father owned mencoreti calendar. But my father went so long. I waited until exhaustion and lazy start mencoreti calendar as the father had requested. I started crying and angry at my mother, but also all people. Weakened my body because I always refuse food and even drinks. I am reluctant to speak, including the friend sepermainanku, ramadhani. Until one day my mother said if my father will not go home again. "My father is flying to heaven," he said.

Since then, I really hate the numbers. I am not averse to dismantling and would like to see the calendar terpajang at home. I hate the things. I also began to chafe like myself. Until I finally get sick and have to lie in the hospital for baunya is not very tasty.

Shadow soft feel of my father and the slowly fade. I look and menajamkan pandanganku, but useless. Hadapanku in the atmosphere changed into white, and so the meeting by removing the thick fog of cold. One form of adult males appears to penetrate fog walking toward me. Body is much higher from me. He smiled and menggandeng hand. Skin feels so smooth hands in telapakku.

While mengajakku to sit down, man was told about the sky and breathe heaven. I remember on my father and said to the men in sebelahku, "Is my father there?"

"True," answered.
"Where?"
"On the seventh heaven."
"What we can to get there?" tanyaku not patient.
"Soon we will be there. But, no condition."
"What condition?" sahutku spirit.
"You first have to calculate the amount of the sky. If not, you will not get to the father. Because you will lose."

"If we forget that, I would not count. I hate the numbers!" I cried.
"In heaven, you can also count the stars."
"I did not want to calculate the sky or anything."
"Trust, you will like it."
"For what I count the stars?"
"Perhaps there are also the father, the stars."
"Really?"

Men's bow is. I memeluknya without hesitation. The atmosphere is serene incarcerate us both. I lean my head to the chest of male. Not have any voice in this place, except tap jantungku own. Sound of gulp that is long enough this feels very weak. I enjoy jantungku tap into the distinctive tone beautifully for me.

"What we can count this vote?" said point jantungku noise.
"Yes, of course. Count. It will be fun if we count the things that we like."
"What voice will always ring forever?"
"No. He will stop, if you're already dead."
"Dead? Go to Heaven, like my father? Begitukah?"
"Yes."
"If I die, what can I meet my father?"
"Of course."
"I wanted to vote to stop this strike," I said slowly.
"Your mother will be sad if you leave," answered the man.

"Do not tell my mother if I die. Berjanjilah to dwell. As the mother at first, when my father left us."
"What about your friends, ramadhani?"

I subside. Ramadhani? Ah, I melupakannya. What I tega so just leave? But ... I have not said this to him first, at the time of the other? Of course he'll understand.
I will just say the male ramadhani that it will be good only if you must kutinggalkan, but he had disappeared from pandanganku. I no longer reside in pelukannya. The atmosphere of the white foggy now switch to the garden which is very beautiful and full of flowers. Fragrant aroma of the sheath-sheath bermekaran meet place who have never even kutemui this.
At that time, in the distance, I again saw my father stand on its own figures. This time he was up to arahku and smiled. I reply with senyumannya running menujunya. But pandanganku suddenly become hazy. I continue to walk all the more invisible olehku. I stop feeling disappointed with langkahku.
I remember the friend kecilku. Ramadhani, if after this I must go, then all that will be Searched saw one beautiful dream before death. I said in the liver.

I see you sitting on the side of the pembaringanku. But shady eyes glisten. This hospital room looks more like mortuary. Cold, quiet, and the souls of the frozen. I am still asleep. Occasionally menyapamu cry, but you do not mendengarku. I saw a dream that is still left with kaburnya. You will not believe, ramadhani, I met my father in mimpiku.

I remember the other world. You time, ramadhani, kiss my lips when I talk about death. But now you look a little different. Your face looks as if very fear of death are to the opera. And, ah, ramadhani, see! My father came again. Mimpiku clear again. I quickly drown themselves in the picture mimpiku.

In the behind, stretch hands for my father. Chest full of nostalgia that is not tertawar again. ... And in the opposite direction, "Hey, that's you, ramadhani. You're also here?" tanyaku. But you still. Rigid. Not long after you call my name very slowly. Not be nearly olehku. In fact I come to you like you or not?

I can not choose. Between my father and you, in mimpiku. Total Napasku already panting. This is tiring, ramadhani. But also fun. A unique experience that can not be carelessly told. I am sure once this is far more interesting than the sky or the stars.

Then all terpastikan. Someone on the head, interesting things from my body. There is so despite the trek. Very fast, but had membuatku tercekat.

I forgot all mimpiku. Suddenly my father already memelukku with eratnya. While you're crying in the embrace of my mother, at the end of the pembaringanku. Doctors pull out hose infusku. I cried for you, "I will miss ciumanmu, ramadhani." But again you can not mendengarku, but just continue to cry. ***

WORK : Maya Wulan

MALE SEJATI

One young woman said to the mother.
Mother, sincere man that like?

His mother surprised. He looked amazed at the children outside pengamatannya who has become the lovely girl. Stunned, because time did not want to wait. It's a new yesterday was still a child beside ngompol so smelly mattress pesing. Suddenly he is only now that women have a lot of questions.

First pair of eyes that often belekan that, I now highlight the car lights on dark nights. Sinarnya so sharp. Surrounding participate so reflective. However, the existing road in front of the nose itself, which he of the medium, still appear foggy. Life is a big secret that is not only experienced in the story in the experience of others, because it must be your own.

Why do you ask that, son?
For I want to know.
And after the year?
I do not know.

Girls face becomes red. Understand her mother, because he was once young and want to ask the same thing to her mother, but does not dare. Feeling that time is never discussed, especially concerning love. Even if tried, the answer appears often misleading. Because parents tend to hide a secret life from her children who deems not quite ready for the experience. Now everything has changed. The children want to know that not only must they know, but all of them. Including the first no-no. They were pleased at the danger.
Interesting after the breath, the mother was the daughter's head and whisper.

Do not be ashamed, my son. A secret will not untangle himself, if you do not own to open it. A mystery begins with curiosity, even if in fact you already know. Just because you have never experienced themselves, only a knowledge of foreign portrait of books you read. Many parents hide it, because that knowledge will not need to make your life may be very heavy and broken turn ago, so you will never get to the destination. But the mother does not like that. Mother believes the era of giving you the ability to confront other dangers that are also different. So the mother will be told. But what you ready to accept the truth even if it is not fun?
Purpose mother?
Man sejati son, may not be as you imagine.
Why not?

For in the dream, you have dikacaukan by all kinds of expectations from the brim to the disappointment of many men who never meet the expectations of women. There is only a feeling keki.
Is that wrong?

Mother will not talk about right or wrong. Mother just want you to separate between the feelings and thoughts. Between expectations and reality.

I always cut it. The hope is that we want something that happens often in conflict with what is in front of and eye. Hope to be illusion, it only shadow of the heart. I understand that once. But what one shadow? Because the shadow that we know is that the sun, so that owing to the darkness, we can see the parts that light be, things that should be obvious that we receive, even if it conflicts with expectations.
His mother smiled.
So you still remember all the mothers say?
Why not?
Then you are ready to see reality?
I am ready. I look forward to hearing more. Show how men are sincere.

Memejamkan mother's eyes. It was as if all the elements into everywhere, to build a loop of clear and concrete.

Men of sterling, and then my son said, but he is ... not continue.
Is?
Is a man of sterling.
Ah, Mrs. ngeledek not so, I am serious, I am not patient.

Good, Mrs. attempt so that you only really hear the words that every mother will submit. So look very seriously and do not cut, because men can not be bred only spoken with one sentence. Men's sincere son, while the mother looked up to the front, as if he saw men that are over-bred in the air about penjelmaannya in words.
Men are sincere ...
Men who brave?

Wrong! Kan Searched mother says, do not interrupt! Men's called male-bred, not only because he was brave! Concrete wall is also strong, but not the man just because he is sincere is not perforated by bullet by not teetery earthquake is not perforated by scratching the tsunami, but he must be flexible and soulless. Grow, develop and even change, as well as you.
O ya?

Not as powerful, nor as handsome men to be sincere. A man does not become men because only pure rock-resistant body, because of beautiful and ideal proportion. A man does not by itself become a man because he was sincere great, superior, always a winner, brave and willing sacrifice. A man has not become a man just because he is sincere wealthy, good, wise, smart talk, believe, interesting, diligent prayer, friendly, not arrogant, not gossipy, humble, full of understanding, authoritative, jago make , yield smart, full of tolerance, always respect other people, have a position, rank or higher have a lot of charisma and intellect. A man does not become a man just because he is sincere meritorious, useful, helpful, honest, shrewd, smart or genius. A man even though he is an idol that you admire, a leader, a hero, a pioneer, innovator and rebel, even a wise-wise, does not automatically make him a sincere man!
If so what is?

A man is a sincere view that a reasonable view, listen to them hear, feel it is appropriate, be thought reasonable to think, to read a reasonable read, and have made a reasonable, therefore, think that he be thought worthy, who deserves behave possible and that life should be life.
Young woman is taken aback.
Only that?
A man is a sincere man of one word with the act!
People consistent?
More than that!
A man who can be trusted?
Everything!
Young woman is stunned.

What is more than one word and deed? Heartfelt and everything? Ahh! Memejamkan the young woman's eyes, as if trying to imagine all that nature mengkristal to be her man and then memeluknya. He enjoys lamunannya not afford to continue ngomong again. Audible groan from the mouth small, impressed, and worshipful longing. He orgasme inner experience.

Ahhhhhhh, gumannya continue to get a puncture as favors. I love him in the first presentment. I want to meet men like that. Say where can I find men like that pure, Mother?

Mother did not reply. He just looked like a child gadisnya pity. So that young women grow hair.
Where can I acquainted with him?
For what?

Because I would say hold the line, that I mencintainya. I will not be timid to declare, I wish him pacarku to be, mempelaiku, is the father of daughters, grandchildren, mother and grandchildren. Let him into my life, if a staff later I are old. Being a person who will be memijit leg if semutan, a person who revere shatter my heart and that are shriveled. I wake in the morning if I am lazy and can not afford to move again. I will meminangnya to be my husband, so I will not hesitate to become a son-merayunya Mother, of our generation, why not, I will merebutnya, I will fight to have them.
Dada was a young woman spotty.

What one now women choose men to be the husband, after for centuries we women are only the people who turn left waiting?
Young women was to open his eyes. Eyeball was garish-flash. He holds the hands of his mother.
Mother says quickly, where can I find the men?
Mother sigh heavily. Girls are surprised.
Why Mother's draw breath throughout it?
Because you ask for something that is not possible, unfortunately.
What? Not possible?
Yes.
Why?
Because men sejati such there is no more above the world.
Oh, the young woman surprised.
There is no more?
Have been exhausted.
Lord, exhausted? Why?
Men's pure like that is all vanish, since your father died.
Young women are closing the mouth, because the split disappointed.
Disappear already?

Yes. Now that there are only men who can not be held longer mouth. Overall only loudmouth. Actors three classes. Cap all tempe. Many men are strong, smart, rich, have power and can do anything, but everything can not be trusted. No more men bred son. They marry carpenters, carpenters ngibul, all basket herbal medicine, do not want the child, let alone wash dalammu trousers, their prey and so the tiger can have what you want. If you are old and not more diligent minister, they do not shrink from menggebuki punish women who had become her mother. No more men bred again, son. So when you still miss male bred, you will become a vestal. Better stop dreaming that it is not useful.
The pensive girl. Faces seem very glum.
So there is no more hope, with the voice gag gumamnya despair. There is no hope anymore. If so I am broken-hearted.
Broken-hearted?
Yes. I despair.
Why must despair?
Because what's the longer I live, if there is no male-bred?
Her mother returned the child her head, and smiled.

You are too young, too much to read books and sit behind the desk. Close the book now and stand up from the chair that you have the claw. Exit, hirup the air fresh, perspective lagit blue and green leaves. There are lily white blooms are rollicking in the fence, not a world as you imagine in kamarmu. Lifestyle sekotor not be told by the books in perpustakaanmu although it is not seindah dream-mimpimu. My son out, find someone in there, and tegur and talk! Do not ngumpet here!
I do not ngumpet!
Do not run!
Who run?
Coop itself is running or ngumpet. Get out!
Exit to where?
To the road! Mother points to the direction the door opens. Interact with many people.
Girls that termangu.
For what? In a home more comfortable?
So if you want to be kuper frog!
But I read a lot? I am hapal out-rhyme rhythm Kahlil Gibran!

Not enough! You should speak with their pairs, dialogue will make your heart open, your eyes see more and understand on the surplus-surplus of others.
Shake the young woman.
It is no use, because they were not sincere men.
Hence it out. Out now!
Exit?
Yes.

Young woman is taken aback, his mother's voice became loud and rule. He had placed the book, since the earphone opening spurt earlier R & B music in both ears, and exit a room.

Afternoon sun obstructed by clouds, which come from thin air pollution. But that would help the tropical sun is fierce to become a beautiful ball of fire. In a nearly perfect sphere, but the soft light merahnya skid feet to the sky. Silhuet an eagle appear far higher hover mengincer target. Young women face is blank.
I do not need the sun, I need a man sincere, bisiknya.
So out of the house to the street and see!
For what?

Many men in the street. Catching one. Take any, with the careless eye also terpejam nothing. No matter what his name, how tampangnya, what education, how otaknya and no matter what perasaannya. Attract any men who are tergapai by hand, and he made friends life!

Young women that tecengang. Almost any time he wants to protest. But his mother hurried cut. Origin, his mother go with gentle but firm voice, the origin, this is the most important son, which he really mencintaimu and you own also seriously mencintainya. Because of love, son, love can change everything.
Young woman is taken aback.

And more than that, go before the mother had disputed the children, more than the son, he said with a soft voice, but increasingly more explicit, as a woman, daughter, whoever he is, from where he was, how he is, every woman, son every woman, can make a man, whoever he is, how is he, any work, even kalibernya However, a woman can make any man into a man who bred! ***

WORK : Putu Wijaya

FRAME

Invitation from Susan kuterima in the office at three, when I am out of the meeting rooms. Plan to drive menyeduh coffee drowsiness soon forgotten. Perhatianku tersita on the envelope that is designed very good.

When kubuka plastic cover, the phone rings in mejaku. I lift the phone without removing the stop upayaku art-carton printed with ultra violet spot any posts in the "Frame".

"Selamat siang with Dudi, Auto Suryatama," sambutku automatically.
"Ahai, tumben you have in place!" Voice of the exclamation.

"Sorry, who is this?"
"Susan! You forget voice? The new two weeks ago that we met. Not only meet, because throughout the two nights we shared." There gemas tone to penetrate the ear. "Sorry, I phone to the office. Hp-mu is not active."

"Jove!" I laugh and apologize. Not active, more precisely: the number is different. "I just received an invitation, so konsentrasiku fork. Apparently this invitation from you! So apparently you serious with that plan?"

"Of course! Why not? You surely remember the sorrow-citaku since high school. Has long been a dream I can stay in Ubud. But I can not be perpetual holiday waste money there. Kuputuskan So to get the inner satisfaction as well as financial ..."

"I have to clap for kegigihanmu. Great!"
"This is also because there are coals of love that continue to burn."

I heard terkesiap.
"Cintamu, Dudi!" Susan connect.

Entahlah: should I shoot terkesiap alert or excited to hear the words so steady? Of somewhat surprising if a girl Solo memekikkan word, not a whisper, that perhaps are not in line in front of a supermarket cashier.

"Dudi, why are you silent?"
"Oh, sorry! In fact, I would like to cavort, but certainly one place. Mejaku in front of the existing waiting, want to discuss the job ..."
"Okay, I. Meneleponmu I will again later. After office hour, yes!"

Receiver is still in the ear, Susan decided to wait relations. Even after the phone connection is lost, such as still heard ringing in the ears happy Susan. Rembes to the heart. I draw the breath out of the room such as a stuffy, and kusandarkan punggungku to the flexible seat. There is not who in the front. So, I lied earlier. I am sorry, Susan. In fact I have a lot of lie. But, believe, love sayangku to you so honestly.
***
SEINGATKU earlier Lanfang have brought cakes, because this night will come cousin. Glide home while I plan a layover in bakery. It's actually a cake shop, but in the way I stuck in the throng invited to drop in appetite. Selintas saw, on the left and right where there are also many cafes and bread shop. Not so grossly wrong if I stopped a moment and find the parking lot. Untung kukendarai Swift is not the type of car, so easy to get places.

Apparently ongoing seremoni opening a gallery, marked with the exhibition of the works of young painters, Surabaya. I saw a glimpse, have Joko scream in the room is clear: berpameran participate or just be a speech? Entahlah! The show is olehku similar events, which will take place next week in Ubud. And in the middle of the circle of guests, the elegant kuangankan Susan, with disheveled hair left, a peacock bird vessel grin introduce galerinya. What's his name before? Frame!

I came down from the car, huddle in the entrance pitch. Who is owner of this gallery? If Lanfang know, of course also want to "eye wash" here, let alone that he was enamored mengapresiasi painting, commotion by the magazine were asked to write the coverage in the Central Youth exhibition. That time he complained, as they do not need to know from where to assess the painting.

"I iki isane Reviews storiette, lha kok dikongkon gawe reviews painting, yok opo sih?" Yes. I just write this bisanya cliff, why appreciation is to make paintings, how do?

I saw him narrowly split mencak-mencak. But curiosity and the spirit of learning is high enough, so that time, the lapse of a day he can meet with several painters. Even the next day she managed to make an appointment with a curator to talked. Now he should be grateful to the women's magazine in Jakarta who have requested it to do that. Because now more sensitive to pikirannya painting and graphics.

Kuhabiskan ten minutes time in the gallery berinterior minimalist. Although it seems no need to show the invitation, but I certainly is not the guests. Then I go to the bread shop on the right hand side, and fulfill orders Lanfang.

Throughout the rest of the way home, the kupikirkan is a way to go to Bali. Although Singapore is not unduly far from Bali, plan to get there outside the office will be the task of fishing Lanfang willingness to participate. That should not happen! May not combine the two women who kusayang that in one space and time. Concerned will not be a bad idea for the novel Lanfang, but it certainly caused blast waves that merubuhkan and marriage.

Thus, travel agencies must have to Bali! Perhaps, in order not to unduly suspicious, it must issue to kuembuskan ear since early Lanfang. Later the night, before the make. Thus, it is not impressed as a sudden pullout. But ... gosh, do not mind women are often populated by the preposterous fantastik? Could be, because the time is still long, Lanfang disassemble and savings initiative to participate. That way, the cost penginapannya free, is not it?

Sweat condense on keningku. Suddenly the air conditioner in the car felt, not usually sesejuk. Maybe you should kusampaikan day of departure. While ostensibly complain: why the company did not consider employee, offhand without charge out of the city planning that well. Aha, I smile to imagine the reaction Lanfang, who will entertain with "O never mind, the task name. Of course there are things that are urgent in there." Seraya pipiku stroke. And I will be pampered with memeluknya like a baby.

But pulling pipiku changed. Senyumku switch qualm. What if Lanfang with exactly the sentence like this: "Yes already, though not too late there, I took accompany. Night I can walk to a cafe in Kuta or Legian."

The last curve before the arrival in the house suddenly feels uncomfortable. In fact there is no "sleeping police" there. But I hope the distance is still long and kutempuh need some red light. To have had time to set the strategy is sensible. However tercerabut mind that while the phone vibrates selularku. Susan!

"Hi, I forgot meneleponmu! Tadi have friends who ask this question-that events in Ubud. Let me use a cheap event organizer belonging to my junior high school friend."

"O, no problem. Coincidences I have on the road."
"Yes already, I hate most people see the phone while driving. See you tomorrow, yes. Mmmuah!"

It is so wet by pipiku touch lips. Kuembuskan breath hard-hard sense of hope and comfort into the heart. Fence in front of the house have been eye. The sky is dark, the lamp-light terrace in the housing complex is up. And as usual, immediately interesting parlormaid-sliding iron gate that the color has begun to pale. I park the car to Carport.

"Remember pesananku?" Lanfang welcome at the door.
"Of course, Beautiful." Kuangkat high-high-by titipannya.

"Thank you." Dipeluknya me, even though no body aroma sesegar before morning. Then jemarinya opening tie of leherku. Hopefully it can not find the fragrant scent that may stick in bajuku. Hopefully.

Who do not want to happen is: find the invitation Lanfang Susan. I must save them in places far from the reach Lanfang.
***
I will come one day before the grand opening Frame Gallery, which was located not far from the Gallery Rudana. Places that really personable and in accordance with the taste of Susan. He is a good voter. He is also a hotel when I memilihkan duty to Solo.

"You must stay in the Savoy," usulnya. Because that place has a lot of the typical garden-style Bali. Although, when the fuse is in the bedroom area, with nearly no different from other hotels. Ingatanku would always be stuck on that Susan's hair repeatedly wajahku meet. Usually busy making body that we will end it moist with aromatherapy in the bathroom. Meet fragrant sandalwood bath-tub.

"Beautiful, lately you so busy." I call Lanfang's office.
"Yes. In a week I should have been completed and provides a check on the prospective approval before boarding bukuku print. Why?"

"Tomorrow I tasks to outside the island. Go to Lombok, but may stop by the branch office in Bali first. I have not had time to clear up luggage, can I ask?"

"Okay, no problem. Kok sudden? How many days?"
"New kudapat of duty the day before. Now I must take a ticket to their own agents. About three-four days, depending on how the condition of the network in Lombok."

"Yo wis, bengi Ojo-bengi mulihe. You need to rest this evening."
Certainly will not be late at night, because the actual tickets are kupegang. But it is important that I know, Lanfang so busy re-reading naskahnya which has been set up.

It's just now that I remind Lanfang enough rest this evening. But with the different sarannya. He marked the page of the book is being read, menyurutkan light to temaram room, go down to selimutku. Cumbuannya always starts from the mouth. Possible to mengingatkanku that he indeed is not only choosy, but also deft late evening when the work is done without words.

Before the fall, Lanfang let wajahku chisel to his neck. Nadinya close to the nerves. At least he knew that napasku terembus full love. But tomorrow, so arrive in Denpasar, kutelepon Lanfang necessary, I will use the next number. Susan is the only number that. However, the lie that excite!
***
I park the car kupinjam of the branch office in Bali. Sunset has just disappeared. I heard Balinese gamelan music sayup. Apparently Susan has become a very ethnic atmosphere. I saw the gallery tiny terrace walls are made with sandstone. Floor natural stone create a more natural effect of depth. Light flush porch light that shows the direct wajahku, Susan, so that - as has been previously kuduga - elegant with disheveled hair and put on cloth Bali style, turn to arahku. Senyumnya chap. I saw his eyes berbinar.

"Okay, friends, the invitation and journalists, that beloved kutunggu already arrived. We will start program ..."
I am a bit clumsy, but Susan melting pot with a spoon so intimate. There are some bule present there. Susan does not make it feel free kiss my lips. And why somehow, the journalist was so crazy with the things that take a while but berdenyar. Their photographs. Moment dazzled eyes.

However, when Susan casual hug, and I try mengitarkan view, among the visitors I saw someone who is very kukenal. Eyes are still affected by the lightning flash. But do not forget the face may istriku.

Lanfang in the corner! With a digital camera in hand. Stupefied face. Or stunned? But parasnya pale.
"Okay," said master of ceremony. "We will hear the initial idea of the Gallery Frame. Molim Susan tells us ..."

Ear does not catch the next words of Susan, as soon rushing Lanfang pursue the beringsut so quickly towards the exit. I cursed myself that the mobile phone number. Surely he menghubungiku has been trying since yesterday. I must also condemn the magazine that covered the event this request? He is busy not be pursued by the time a book publisher?

"Lanfang" I call.
Outside the desert, but not with the thundering sound of gulp jantungku.

"Name Frame kupilih because ...." Susan sayup the vote. While in the park that was half dark, I find the sound of gulp Lanfang heart. ***

WORK : Kurnia Effendi

DINNER MENU

Something cracked, and soon we membikinnya immortal
Mother's vow to build on the family table. He was obsessed to realize a happy family eating together through the media. So, he spent his life in the kitchen, cooking beribu thousands even millions of food menu only to serve the dish different every day. He has a list of millions of dinner menu in the cupboard dapurnya. List is arranged neatly in a folio book obsolete setebal doubled dictionary of English, sequential menu of cuisine begin with the letter A to Z. He set up its own dictionary that perkawinannya since the age of one day up to now enter the age of 25 years. In the dictionary next to the recipes, the cumulative bank also recipes from the Javanese, Madurese, Padang, and even Chinese cuisine. Not a clipping recipes from the tabloids, tabloids women setebal Oxford Advanced Learner Dictionary.

The contents of the mother is different from the other mothers. In his head as if there are only three words, dinner menu. Every second, every napasnya pulled thing, the menu is pikirannya-cuisine menu for dinner only. Dinner ritual that is the official implied that dibikinnya and sustainable dibuatnya remain to this day. Although, the three adult children have been go, he never subside prepare dinner in such a way as when he first do so, since the age pernikahannya one day.

Families grow together in this table. They have been familiar with the customs on the table telling stories while enjoying the cuisine menus Mother. They talk about anything on the table. They sit together and listen to each other their respective stories. No matter whether the events that nyambung or not, it is important for the other or not, the main story telling. The other can respond, comment or enjoin silence, if not interesting. Front tousled-face, depressed, a lot of problems, stress, depression, anger, disappointment, beaten, despair, fear, and so forth, can be captured from the atmosphere above the table. Instead faces cheerful, cheery, radiant, flower-flower, fall in love, can also be predicted from this ritual meal together. Mother knows most everything.

He really have the interests of the regularity with this tradition to eat. Only one interest in life, make sure that all members of his family in the circumstances it was expected. For the mother, just a day miss this ritual, he will lose the moment to find out his family problems. Nothing can be hidden from the moment this togetherness. And lost the moment it feels like life is frightening failures. He did not want to happen and that he tried hard to make it not happen.

He did not dare to imagine the loss of torque. Surely even know, he sure to face a moment later, he will not ever feel truly ready for it. Relieve a little, all family members have been with the tradition and their mother seems to realize that they need an atmosphere to make it "there". Everyone knows and memakluminya. So try to make everyone feel "there" with the rituals that follow. However, sometimes some of them consider this boring tradition.
***
Four-hour morning. Mother has been cooking in the kitchen. He prepared breakfast very seriously. Mother never considered cooking is frivolous activities. He never believed that a wife who never cook for her family was a good mother. If there is a work underrate cook, Mrs. menangkisnya will be with one argument: the cuisine is the cuisine of the Lord blessed the birth of the hands of a mother who bring love and love in every sense of substance that dibikinnya cuisine. Mother believes that food is the love of a mother to her family, such as bridges that connect the inner antarmanusia. Up to here, their children will have heard the explanation that they hapal out. Mother will not stop talking if kedamaiannya diusik. And that can only stop itself.

Breakfast arrived. Mother in the kitchen preparing breakfast. It was set up in accordance with the menu listed in the menu list on the food cupboard. Omelette, green vegetables and soy sauce condiment. There are five people in the family. All people have different tastes. Her husband is not like eggs cooked properly, a bit salty, without chili. Aries like the egg is completely dry tergoreng, and must be spicy. Pisca, like many sweet foods. Dadarnya eggs must be cooked with half a sweet soy sauce and a little vitsin. While Canestra, not like the yolk. Before didadar, yellow eggs must be separated from the first white. If not made in accordance with pesanannya, he could hunger strike. Many days.

How about Mother? Mother never even different. Dadarnya egg is a standard, no special treatment. He can eat anything, which is important to eat, be.

At 07.05. Half-cooked omelette salt, egg omelet, spicy, sweet with vitsin eggs, and eggs without the yellow, green vegetables following sambal and soy sauce have been terhidang. All the dishes have their appropriate order. Breakfast is usually not too much talking. All busy with their respective plans in his head. It seems, nothing to share. Aries is now working in a government office, a regional energy honorarium. He had arrived in the office at least two in five of seven, because there are thirty seven apples each. Pisca be to the campus. He sat in the semester is now seven. Currently can not seem to be disturbed by anyone. Face shows that. May be met with the lecturer or what either, but face clouded. May be many problems, but the mother can only see it. Canestra are still in high school. He looks the most relaxed. Hands holding the comics. Japanese comics. Eating while reading is kebiasaannya. Mr. Sang, sat silent while chewing food without a voice and turned on without the other. Men who stopped working a few years ago that appear to slow finish eat. He enjoyed cooking it, or do not care? No one is out.

One by one they leave the hall. Only the dirty dishes left on the table. Mother took him to the kitchen, wash dishes and clean up the dust table. Rite next budget is submitted to the market that day to her husband. This time it was the most hateful contemporary life. He was averse to receiving money from her husband who did not always look real and not believe.

Finally, the material is trimmed seenak menu udelnya, he did not want to know anything. Ultimately it is only to give ten thousand for all of that. Of course less than the budget that should be, twenty thousand. For all that, then automatically changes the menu, no chicken flavor rujak, no capcay, who have lived and where corn meatball. Green vegetables, he said, so-so. The most important vegetables, and cheap. Ah ...

Mother to walk with a slow market. The day is Friday. Short days. Children will go home faster than usual. He speed step. Not easy to divide the time, sometimes very large number of work-up until there is no time to do things other than the kitchen affairs. Sometimes he thinks there is something really important to do but it will ignore the affair and the kitchen it means ignoring the taste of her children. It is not possible. No one is to understand the taste her children except her.

But sometimes he deals with bosan menus. He has tried all the menu in the cookery books, he has tried all the recipes on TV, and he runs out of ideas a while. He noted that the menu-the menu has been dibikinnya. Lake Erie sambal: krecek sambal goreng, sambal goreng hati, godog sambal, sambal potatoes, onion sambal, sambal kecicang, sambal Serai, etc.. Aneka ca, such as: mustard greens ca, ca kangkung, ca spinach, bean sprouts ca, ca flower brush, etc.. All kinds of meatball and dry gorengan: cucumber meatball, meatball potatoes, corn meatball, pastel potatoes, croquette potatoes, and so on. Until the middle of food from expensive materials such as staple: pork soy sauce, curry chicken curry, prawn curry, sate seasoning rujak, Opor chicken, chicken feet soup with Chinese mushrooms, beef jerked meat, fried crab. Also sundries such as Chinese food: shiobak, koloke, fuyung hai, ang sio hie, hao noodles, rice noodles tao, and so on. This list will grow longer if the pepes Lake Erie, Lake Erie urap, or Lake Erie fish.

All menus are dicobanya not be left out, but it still seems there is something less. He was more often to create a culinary menu sometimes combined with the other cuisines, such as pepes Tempe, fern curry, sate know, and so forth. But still only menus that do not feel enough to make a variety of different menu every day. Therefore, that will make their families endure and miss dinner.

He never felt any want to stop thinking about the menu-the menu is, but her husband will say, "You have chosen to be a normal-normal women only, and does not serve working families. Even swear you will build up in the family dining table, why do not you think before ? "

Mother ponder the words of her husband. There is a wrong-assessment against the assessment. There is no fair in it. Almost always, the victims are considered, those who accused them of doing something wrong but the votes and is considered a normal-normal saja. But what indeed happened to a normal and not normal? Determine what is normal and not normal? Being a mother is very unusual outside outside. Whether a housewife who devote all of his life for the family more than an ordinary mother who never even think about his family, even though he has seven companies and rich? Moreover, it is only a feeling, not the numbers in mathematics, his name is also a feeling. Tercium charred smell. Mother's lamunannya startled. Tempenya burnt.

He finish-fried tempe fry it. Then he was rushing to pounce sekeranjang dirty laundry, wash the start. Children came one by one. Mother has not finished washing. Tergesa rather because he must prepare lunch for their children. After preparing lunch, she returned to work, complete wash.

Lunch hour is Mother 3 pm. After that, he slept two hours. Hours after 5 pm, after siangnya sleep, he must prepare the dinner. After dinner, do not think it was done. There is Mr. dipijit ask every day, every day but complain pijitan Mother never have progress. Ah ...

He do so for the rest of his life. He berkutat with all of that for tens of years, never have the memujinya, and he also did not want to be recommended, but itukah called ordinary women?

Whilom, an event that families come harass.
Today is Tuesday, when a change to introduce himself to the family. Aries refused to eat together. He certainly have a reason behind the action mogoknya. But there is no reason to know what Aries.

Mother disappointed. No evening meal menu dicicipi for three days in succession. This is a mental burden for a mother. It was not the person who handed, but always read from the signs and the like also-nebak. Sialnya, Aries never have enough time to explain all of that. He looks so busy. Sometimes he even looks busy myself, pull from the mother. He menomorduakan their ritual dinner. Mother crying, she felt all the efforts to build a tradition of dinner this futile course. Salahkah if he tried to make something lasting to be cracked soon? Perhaps it is wrong, but the first one did not quite dare to show where the location of one, not even a Mother's tega disappointing. But Aries, has been making a real disappointment.

The atmosphere became even more clouded when the day's fifth, sixth and seventh, Aries also absent dinner.
Mother acts. He entered the room to the first-born, and, perhaps, to speak there. Pisca and Canestra sitting in front of tivi, not hear anything.

One hour later, Mrs. exit with glum faces, but so far appears resplendent. He looks weird.
"I know during this time we never honest with the food that night. The only one that only he was honest. We all have been bored, ya kan? Mother also. And from this moment, there is not any longer the lie. Leave it alone if you do not agree. Mother is also tired of the menu-menu dinner for you. Mother did not want to feel you need to prepare them for. Mother tries. Have fun! "

Mother to complete the problem lightly. Mr. Ibu to overtake a room. Hopefully they make. Ah yes they seem to never make again since some of this year. In fact it is necessary, especially for the mother who tired extraordinary. Physical and mental.

Pisca room to sneak in Aries, which still leave Canestra fun watching tivi. He really wanted to know, what is discussed and Aries Capital, so the mother out with the strange face, but be forced wistful glow. Pisca said, "What?" Aries do not reply, but suddenly cry and drown face down in the pillow. With sesenggukan, he said, "To maintain all the more a mother in front of falsity? One of us has all betray Mother, for what else is all this?"

Pisca arrest brother with clear speech, but he did not understand, and do not want to understand, because all of that is too sad for him. Moreover, the more sad to know when someone has to sell out mother? Who is he, Pisca not want to know. He did not want to hate, especially against their own families. But Mother is not always know what's going on? All questions pile up bank in his head.

Something that cracked, the mother had tried membikinnya eternal, now is actually cracked in pieces and may not be again. Since that time, have dinner together, are not routine for them. Only a mother who still stand there. Occasionally Pisca or Canestra mendampinginya. May be arrived at when he really nostalgic dinner together.

Sialnya, Mr. really do not understand the issue well. He was wise and clever sock. Words do not really appropriate to describe this whole situation.

"True is, your mother is a normal-normal women only. He even considers this as a frivolous things come in her life!"
Pisca excited. He felt proud that Mr. is to be stopped.

"What is normal? What's not normal? Mr. also ordinary men, who can not like Mother. Mr.'s far more common Mother. Mother, at least try to make a tradition that we know the meaning of togetherness even on the table. But look, Mr. just like the mocking but never do anything, never even tried to do everything! "

Mr. Still. He seems offended. But Pisca like making them happy and resentful. Pisca decided to meet Mother. Mother held with the smile. Pisca know he will be talking a matter of Mr., a matter of course and not normal. Prevent mother to speak first, "Here. Mr. Mrs. correct problems that are usual-usual. This should have been. Mother receives all of that, not because of Mother Mother pasrah but you all understand and correct this problem also. Mother was a normal woman, not want into the unfamiliar. Mother love Mr. you all. Mother can not give money, then the mother's ability to provide free Mother's cooking, that is if you want to enjoy them. "

"But Bu, this insult. Problems dinner is not just a problem, not the paltry fry. Mother of the business to build togetherness tradition in our family, but you have not even considered. We learn from one another on the table that, we decided our lives on the table, and remember, when you stop working in the office because of the funds that it is very shameful, that is we help you, also on the table to eat it. "

"Mr. is now being felt lonely, he lost time best, it is tersulit that ditemuinya. We must understand that."

From home, you hear all the conversation. He thinks that his wife is good, understanding and patient, but really it is very common, and most importantly, do not excite. ***

WORK : Kadek Sonia Piscayanti

LOSER

Finally, I return to this place. I can not hold perasaanku not to find again. I just want to see it's quite a distance away, from a somewhat protected place. From behind the night, with the liberal view I can laugh and smile - the smile and laughter made up - in front of guests.

Where he sat waiting for the guests enough light eyes, although that place only ditaburi a dim red light. I can still feel the eyes smarting emission. I feel that he was considering me. I tried hiding behind the throng of visitors who berseliweran outside the room. But I hesitated a moment, if he see me right? Ah, perhaps the only perasaanku course. I am sure he is disappointed with me. He was disappointed because I failed to take them away from this place.

Almost every night I visited this place only to see it from the darkness and make sure he was OK. I like detective who lurk are mangsanya. Or maybe I am a dastardly who dare not show stem nose after a painful heart failure. Or so I could have been the loser of this bitter reality.

Usually I'll come around eight o'clock at night. I park my motorhome in the darkness and walk slowly toward the place he is always waiting guests. Clearly I will not dare go to the pengab in the room with cigarette smoke and the smell of drink. I am ashamed terlanjur with him. So, I only dare to stand outside, in the darkness, stare with eyes that are very wary of is to the room where he sat relaxed while rokoknya whiff of smoke.

I am often jealous when a fire burned a man who approached and merayunya. Jealous of the fire-to be so when he was a man who also serve merayunya with the smile and laughter. And my heart really burn when I saw him go into biliknya accompanied the man. When the coconut shell filled with a variety of head-thinking bad thoughts. Yes, it is clear, in a simple room that they will wrestle, wrestled, and each other in terkam snort breath birahi.

Ah, is not so. That's just mind-mind burukku only. I know he lugu women who were trapped in a situation like that. Such children enter the trap deer hunter.

I feel I have him fall in love. You know, I love the process kualami? Okay, for you will kuceritakan. When I was invited by fellow karibku come to this place. My friend is a langganannya. I currently only bengong-bengong in the room while drinking coffee. A mother menghampiriku half old. Flirtatious mother with eyes that said to me why I do not enter rooms? I said that I want to own again, again just want to enjoy the atmosphere. Mother said that there is a new, still young, newly arrived from the village. Mother is the new age 15 years. In heart I am also interested in the words of the mother. Wah, still very young? I want to know so well what young women, who spelled it? Old mother was calling him.

After bath, the mother of the older women take it to me. With timid inexperienced women that sit in sebelahku. He was not only silent and speaking. Sweet face and the smell is still kencur. Somehow the child to whom a place like this. Menyuruhku old mother was immediately mengajaknya entrance room, with the rate of special, more expensive than usual.

In the room, she was still silent, not talkative. From eye-kanakannya face radiated a feeling anxious and skepticism. I see the compassion so miserably that it tingkahnya. I immediately wanted to prevent when he busananya strip. He was upset with tingkahku.

"I have to serve my guests," he explained.

"I do not need to be serviced. I just want to chat with you. And I will still pay the appropriate fare has been agreed," ujarku.

I contemplate the face of it simple. I somehow so why not tega and feel sympathy with him. I may be trapped in the beam eyes covered so that smoothness at the same time worries. I have known the number of women who work like this. But women with this one, I feel in myself a desire to rise to be hero, to save them.

Mendekapkan I head to my chest. I stroke the hair belai-sebahu. Suddenly I felt just being an older sister who want to protect adiknya from all marabahaya.

"Why you can be in a place like this?" tanyaku gentle. "You should enjoy the time-period sekolahmu, such as friends of another .."

She menatapku soft and silent.

"I do not know, Mas. My auntie invited by me here. I promised a job with a salary that tantalize. Dijebak But I was here by tante my own."

I am surprised to hear that pengakuannya a move. Secretly in my heart, compassion slowly into feeling sympathy for mengasihinya and keinginnan.

"You want to get away from this place?"

"Yes, clearly, Mas. But how can I go from here?"

"I will ngomong bosmu same."

"It is impossible, Mas!"

"Why impossible?"

"Mas does not understand the situation here. Once a woman trapped in this place, they will wallow for life here."

"No. Menyelamatkanmu I will. You must continue sekolahmu. And you must find a better job of working here."

Women kencur smell it subjected the head. Eyes exude hope, a hope for freedom.

I smell keningnya. I bisikkan few broken words that he be patient and resilient. I am out of the room with the feeling dejected.

"What, Mas? Good, eh?" Part-old mother was standing in front of the eye mengerlingkan door and flirtatious to the eyes.

Suddenly I want to vomit just to see the show flirtatious mother.

"I want to ngomong same bosmu," ujarku with a slightly indignant tone.

"What, Mas? What services does not satisfy ya ...? Wah, so I will report to my boss."

"Do not. Not a problem. It's the same I want to discuss bosmu. Can you call him."

Women part-old belief that boss hurried to meet BOS. Not long, he appears again accompany women to the face rather gembrot imply subtlety.

"What, Mas? What he does not serve well Mas?"

"Not a problem, Bu. Approximately if I want to invite her out of here, what?"

Women who face gembrot pawky suspicious that immediately changed.

"The Mas gimana?"

"I would like to invite him to go from here."

"If we have to redeem the Mas Rp 5 million, what?"

I terkesiap. Gila gembrot this is correct. Why do I have to redeem it as much? Is not everyone entitled to choose kebebasannya?

"Why do I have to atone for that? He is not dead goods. He has kebebasannya a man," ujarku furious.

Si gembrot cynical smile.

"Mas this kayak does not understand aja. He was under control and my responsibilities. Aunt was I commend him on."

"If so, you do not have the right to sell him as he was with the hiring prostitutes," the infuriated ujarku see the oddity gembrot.

"Life Mas increasingly difficult. All people need money, and now everything is measured by money. Here are Mas. If Mas would like to bring him, then provide the money Mas Rp 5 million. That's it."

Si gembrot bitch going to leave while I still terbengong-bengong. While I do not know what should be done. I am going to leave that place with the feeling of injury. I saw a glimpse of women who want to kuselamatkan the shiny wet kepergianku stare.

Several days later I try to get as much money to redeem him. I tried to borrow his friend. However, efforts bear fruit only kerasku futility. I can only collect Rp 2 million. I go back to that place and try to bargain with the brothel gembrot, but quite useless. Si gembrot remain in the original opinion.

I feel disappointed with myself sediri. I am not powerless to save him. I do not completely mengutuki myself, why I do not have so rich.

Then as now, every night I can only stare him out of the darkness at night. While holding my heart that scorched nearly burned jealous, I saw him bercengkerama with guests. He seems happy with the work dijalaninya. Every smile and tawanya see, I feel guilty at the same time disappointed with myself. In the end I only loser so .***

WORK : Wayan Sunarta